Marriage is work – Marriage Monday

How many of you were told the truth about marriage before you got married? I wish someone had told me! I may not have reacted the way they wanted me to, but at least I would’ve had a little idea of what it might or could be like.
My husband and I were talking last night about how we aren’t the same people we were 5 years ago. We’re glad that we are still together,but both agree it’s been some hard work.
We’ve sat up many nights talking after a bad argument. You know the ones, where you say things that are mean and hurtful and your both charging at each other full force, each trying to make their point. Those fights don’t happen often anymore. I’m so happy about that. There was a time when we were having knock down drag outs every other day it seemed. We really couldn’t stand each other.
I say it a lot, but I am really amazed that we are here, together, making it work. I’m proud and happy too.
I know having kids right away may not have been the best way to do things, but is there really a right or wrong way to go about starting a family?
My husband says all the time”babies can’t be planned” I say that anything can be planned, but plans change.
We wouldn’t trade our girls for the world. Yes it was hard being married for only 9 months before our 1st daughter arrived. We were still adjusting to living together, and figuring out married life. Then I was diagnosed with PPD/PTSD
We moved back in with my parents and that helped some.
Then when Nakiah was 2.5 her sister Ava came into the world. Another adjustment. I went through PPD again, but not as severe this time.
I love my husband. I really do. I know he vowed to, but alot of people take vows and don’t keep them.
He really has been there for me for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.
Here we are almost six years later, trying to plan for our 3rd pregnancy(more on that in another post)
Talking about buying our first home, making all kinds of plans for the future.
It’s good to talk with him and see how in sync we are on a lot of things.
We want to own a home in the next 2 years. We talk about having more kids, adopting, where we want out 1st home to be.
We also talk about how far we’ve come. I’m so glad I can grow with my husband and he can grow with me.
We used to think if we each put in 50% we would be alright. Now we know that our marriage works much better when we both give it 100%
I don’t mind putting in the extra hours for my marriage. We want to be the best example for our girls on how a healthy marriage works. We are not perfect, but we both bring our all to the table to make it the best we can for ourselves and our girls.
Like I said before, lots of talking, listening, praying, crying. We worked hard to get here and nothing is going to stop us now.
I love this man, the father of my children, my husband and best friend.
There will always be an obstacle, or an adjustment, some sort of surprise. It’s how you handle those moments. They won’t always pass quickly. Sometimes our trials can last for months. Someone suggested to me I change my way of thinking and react to each individual situation, instead of doing the same thing for every thing. I do like to plan ahead and sometimes that stops me from being in the moment, and reacting to that one moment.
That’s what I’ve been working on. It’s working and I like it!
What are some of your secrets to making your marriage work?
Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Marriage is work – Marriage Monday

  1. My grandmother (in-law) told me when my husband and I first married, "child, if you always give in more than 50% and he gives in more than 50% of the time, you'll make it." Good advice me thinks.I celebrated 15 years of marriage this year and the only advice I give anyone is, ut-um, if it aint worth packing your bags over, it aint worth fighting over.Well wishes for your next six years!

  2. My grandmother (in-law) told me when my husband and I first married, "child, if you always give in more than 50% and he gives in more than 50% of the time, you'll make it." Good advice me thinks.I celebrated 15 years of marriage this year and the only advice I give anyone is, ut-um, if it aint worth packing your bags over, it aint worth fighting over.Well wishes for your next six years!

Love Notes

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s