Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
When we talked about having kids before we were married, we had some of the same ideas.
Little did we know that we would conceive on our honeymoon. I know maybe TMI, but that’s what happened.
We found out we were expecting our 1st on our one month anniversary. We were both shocked. It’s been a bumpy road at times, but we’re still standing
There was a time before kids that we both agreed we would never co-sleep. We were like “who does that!”
From the moment I first held Nakiah, I never wanted to put her down. I tried to sleep with her in the hospital. The nurses told me I really shouldn’t, but they weren’t watching me 24/7
She slept in a bassinet for about three months. I couldn’t stand it. The first few weeks, I would sit on the side of the bed and watch her sleep. When she nursed in bed, and I fell asleep with her, Charles would wake up freaking out that I fell asleep with her.
I would put her back into the bassinet and sleep very lightly. Did I mention the bassinet was right beside the bed?
Nakiah developed eczema around six weeks, so she would scratch all the time, even in her sleep.
We put mittens on her hands hoping that would help, but it didn’t.
One night I finally said ” why don’t we just put her in bed with us?”
Charles agreed, and that was the first night we all slept really well! I kept her in my arms all night.
Charles was always supportive of me breastfeeding. When I was too nervous to nurse in public with Nakiah, he would find a secluded spot.
If we were in a mall, he would ask if we could borrow a dressing room for a minute, after a while, I would just walk in and grab a room. I was able to breastfeed her for 10 months.
I can still see her sweet face looking up at me with her fist balled up at her side.
She never cared for the bottle, but I would keep pumping anyway, and Charles would try to feed her from it, but she was not having it.
He was the one who suggested cloth diapers, and I thought it would be really disgusting.
When Nakiah was really fussy, I called my midwife and she told me to pick up a baby carrier. I remember her telling me that babies want and need to be held, rocked and breastfed on demand.
We headed to Wal-Mart and picked up a Evenflo front carrier.
It was $20 and worked great for us at the time. It always amazed me how she fell asleep instantly after I would put her in the carrier, or how she would calm down right away.
I wish I had pictures of the co-sleeping. Sometimes I would get up before they did to have some time to myself. I would go back in to peek at them, and she would be snuggled up to him. So sweet!
I hope those mental images stay pretty sharp for me.
When Ava came along, we knew before that we wanted to continue parenting as we had. This time I took his advice and we cloth diapered. I also purchased a Moby wrap. You know he didn’t freak out when I started my addiction with the cloth diapers and babywearing. Love him for that! He even wore the girls a few times. He would get excited with me when my “fluffy mail” came.
We also continued co-sleeping with the girls.
He supported me in breastfeeding again. This time I felt very brave, and would nurse anytime, anywhere.
If we were out together, he always made sure we had a comfy spot.
He didn’t ask me when I was going to wean Ava, he supported me through 29 months of our nursing relationship.
Even though he said not to homebirth the first time I mentioned it, once we met with the midwife and went to the Birthworks classes, he became fully supportive.
He stood by me at home, just like he did at the hospital. The only time he left my side, was to go eat, and I had to make him do that.
He prepared the bed for me, remembered to light the candles, rubbed my back, and kept telling me I was doing great and that I could do it.
Now he sings the praises of homebirth to anyone who asks his opinion.
I remember when I mentioned homeschooling for the first time. After I went on and on about how I would never sit at a table with my kids and teach them.
I got a big fat NO to that quickly. Now here we are unschooling, and he is becoming my biggest supporter. He knows that I would never decide to do or not to something, unless I had researched my heart out.
Even though we may argue, or grind the other persona nerves, he loves me, respects me, and he trusts me.
I love it when he comes to me with an article he read online, or a video he watched, or when he calls me in the middle of the day to tell me I’m a good mother, and our girls are lucky.
Writing this post has made me realize how much I love him, and how supportive he really is.
My girls have a great role model. I appreciate that they are getting the best of our lifestyle from both parents.
I’m thankful that he is mine. When I met him back in 2001, I never thought that we would have the life we do now.
We are blessed, and we are in this parenting thing together.
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated Feb. 9 with all the carnival links, and all links should be active by noon EST. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)
- A Thank You to my Husband — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl thanks her husband for keeping her grounded and giving her unwavering support in the face of discouragement from within and without. (@lactatinggirl)
- My Reverse Traditional Husband In the Wild — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a lesson on how dads in the wild parent their young. Can you guess which male animal actually nurses its young? (@babydust)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting — TopHat at The Bee in Your Bonnet tells us how the patience of a partner can make a difficult breastfeeding relationship succeed. (@TopHat8855)
- Parenting Together — For Alison at BluebirdMama and her husband, parenting is simply an extension of the way they live. (@childbearing)
- If We Had A MIllion Dollars — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! and her husband would both agree to be crunchier parents if they had a million dollars to ease the way. (@bfmom)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Co-Parents — Dionna at Code Name: Mama has written a letter to her husband, thanking him for his incredible support in every aspect of their natural parenting journey. (@CodeNameMama)
- Natural Parenting Fathers — Sarah at Natural Parenting is balancing being all there for her son with being present for her husband. (@considereden)
- Just Wonderful: Love and Partners and Natural Parenting — Zoey at Good Goog let her husband lead her to babywearing and cosleeping. (@zoeyspeak)
- All that stuff I don’t get comes so easy to him — The Grumbles is taking this opportunity to say thank you to her husband for his mad parenting skills. (@thegrumbles)
- The Power of Having a Supportive Co-Parent — Chrystal at Happy Mothering and her husband started with vaccinations and moved on from there. (@HappyMothering)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners — Lauren at Hobo Mama makes do with babbling incoherently about how her husband practices natural parenting in such an effortless fashion, with bonus video. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Love and Partners — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog shares her husband’s moving account of her birth story, and his testament to the power of a woman. (@myzerowaste)
- labor support… — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children is thankful that her partner has provided her immeasurable labor support through each of their last three unassisted homebirths (and will again for their upcoming fourth!).
- What co-parent? On prams, routines, ideals, sickness, and finding my way alone. — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades describes life without a present co-parent: making new choices and taking care of things herself. (@brightravenmum)
- Parenting With Support — How many people can say that their husband talked them into cloth diapering? Darcel at The Mahogany Way can! (@MahoganyWayMama)
- Co-Parenting Support — Summer at Mama2Mama Tips knows the importance of being supported in the face of criticism. (@mama2mamatips)
- Natural Parenting Carnival: Love and Partners — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has been blessed with an incredibly involved partner. Her husband loves to take part in every aspect of parenting! (@pchanner)
- Daddy’s Little Girls — Kate Wicker at Momopoly finds her husband right at home in a tangle of girls. (@Momopoly)
- How do I love my parenting partner? Let me count the ways. — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker is thankful that she and her partner co-parent fluidly and gracefully. (@mamamilkers)
- Interview with a Daddy — NavelgazingBajan brings us a highly amusing peek into her husband’s perspective.
- Being Supported in Natural Parenting — Sarah at OneStarryNight has witnessed both ends of the parenting spectrum, and is grateful she found a father who is comfortable with natural parenting. (@starrymom)
- Moments in time: a love letter — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick will make you cry with the beautiful way she describes the complete relationship between father and child. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Natural parenting converts — Jen at Recovering Procrastinator brought her reluctant husband around to cloth diapers, bed sharing, and time-ins as a discipline method. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Breastfeeding Father — Amber Strocel at Strocel.com describes how her husband helped her overcome the breastfeeding challenges she encountered with her premature daughter. (@AmberStrocel)
- A Natural Parenting Village — Acacia from Art, Body & Soul, in a guest post for Jamie at Suddenly Stay at Home, broadens the term “coparents” to embrace supportive extended family on both sides. (@SuddnlyStyAtHme)
- A Natural Dad — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest doesn’t have a husband who merely supports her — she has a husband just as dedicated to natural parenting as she is.
- Love and Support From My (sometimes pantsless) Man — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma describes life with the sometimes bumbling but always lovable Pantsless Man. (@kitchenwitch)
- G-O-T-E-A-M! — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile made sure her future husband agreed with her parenting choices early in their dating. (@tisworthwhile)
- how we come to parenthood — Michelle at womanseekingmother dances with her husband around the subject of cosleeping. (@seekingmother)