>Exhuasted

>That’s how I feel lately. I feel like someone has beat me down over and over again.
All I wanted to do today was stay in bed, get up to eat, pee and get back in bed.
Yea, that’s not going to happen with two small children to look after. Charles was off today, so I did get to do what I consider rest. Another person here to play with the girls, fix food, help with potty breaks, and clean up messes. I did feel a little rested today. We all slept in a bit this morning. That’s always nice.

I feel so bottom heavy. My body feels so worn down, and I have anywhere from 7-11 weeks to go before this baby arrives. I’m not expecting he/she to come before 40 weeks, but it’s nice to say I could have 7 weeks left.
We are gathering our supplies for the birth, and we need to have everything by the time I’m 34 weeks. I forgot how the 3rd trimester can kick your butt.

Lately I’m feeling a little disconnected, and not mentally, or emotionally prepared for this baby. I’m not worried about clothes, diapers, birth, or breastfeeding. I’m worried that I won’t have enough time for each child. How will I balance everything going on in my life? I’m already worrying about the state my house is going to be in in the weeks and months following his/her arrival.

I worry too much.

Someone told me that is was ok to not feel ready. That I didn’t need to feel ready until it was time to push. That made me feel so much better. As far as I’ve come from being a perfectionist, there are parts still lingering in there.
I felt like a weight had been lifted. I felt like it was ok to not be completely prepared in every way possible.

I have also slacked with my blogging the past few days. I haven’t visited some of the other bloggers I like to visit. I know I’m not expected to do these things in a certain time frame, but I like to. It helps me feel connected, and it’s fun for me.

Charles keeps reminding me not to take on too much, and he is right. I try to do everything all at once, and on my own. I love feeling accomplished though. I almost can’t help it!

Lying around today, doing nothing felt great. It’s always nice to have days like today.
I really am going to try my best to take it easy over the next several weeks.
I keep telling myself I have a choice in everything I do.

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12 thoughts on “>Exhuasted

  1. >Girl, I remember feeling exactly the same! It truly does all work out. My house a mess & blog wasn't updated, but I had my new baby girl & she made it all OK! Now I'm struggling with going back to work next month…urrrrrRest and think about loving on your family!

  2. >From every post I have read from you I know that you will be able to give each of your children all they need. You seem to be very in-tune with the girls and I don't think that the new baby will be any different. Also think of the girls as your little helpers because I know they are excited about the new addition. That also goes for your rest…isn't it said that these last few weeks is a nesting period? You are more than capable of getting it all done!!

  3. >Hang in there, mama. You are such an amazing mama to those two little ones, and your heart will just expand even more to love a third one just as much.I hope you feel rested and at peace soon!~Dionna @ Code Name: Mamahttp://codenamemama.com

  4. >You're speaking out loud what so many of us as moms of young children feel – thank you for your honesty and openness. Your girls can help you stay in the moment – children are such great little zen masters in that way. You'll surprise yourself when that little baby comes with the increase of love and ability you'll bring to your family. Listen to your hubby – he sounds like an incredibly supportive man =)

  5. >Oh Darcel I hope you can take some time off to relax and get strenght for the new member arriving. I hope your husban gets time off of work to help you too and to bound with the new baby.Much love,Natty

  6. >Thank you all so much! I've relaxed as much as I could today. I know everything will work out. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather coming, hopefully soon.

  7. >Girl, I remember feeling exactly the same! It truly does all work out. My house a mess & blog wasn't updated, but I had my new baby girl & she made it all OK! Now I'm struggling with going back to work next month…urrrrrRest and think about loving on your family!

  8. >((hugs)) i know what you are feeling. the past couple of weeks i've felt the same way. i can only imagine how much more exhausted you are since you are a full-time momma already. and i'm definitely a worrier too. i think right now i've still been in denial about how much longer i have. i'm definitely not "prepared" myself – or as prepared as i'd like to be. esp since we will be CDing, babywearing, etc for the 1st time, and i don't want to have to learn that stuff in real-time. i'd like to already know what to do. but i keep trying to take a deep breath and calm down. don't worry momma, you got this!! and relax and take it easy, we understand why you've been away, and will be right here 🙂

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