>What was I thinking?

>My first time out with all three kids. For the past three weeks I’ve only gone out if Charles was with me. I felt brave today. I had told him last week that I felt ready to hand le being out with the kids on my own. I took him to work and we headed for the library.

What in the world was I thinking! A five year old, a three year old, and a three week old. It was 95 degrees today, we don’t have air in our car(the air in the house is fixed, yay!)and Samuel will scream in the car.

It’s not like a tiny newborn wah wah wah kind of cry either. It’s an all out blood curdling scream. He doesn’t build up to it either, he just lets it out full force, and once he’s started we had better figure out what he needs right now.

Back to the library, it was quite the adventure. Everything started out nice and smooth. Samuel didn’t cry when the car was stopped while we dropped Charles off. He woke up when I took him out of the car to put him in the wrap. I knew I would need to nurse him once we got inside. Here’s where things start to get crazy.

Ava: I gotta go pee!
Me: Ok once we get inside we’ll return the books and you can go pee.

We get inside the library and instead of me dumping the books down the return slide, the girls want to help. No problem, they usually do, but I figured since Ava needed to potty they would want me to do it so we could get to the bathroom quicker.

Nakiah: I want to keep Brown Bear….I love Brown Bear.
Me: That’s fine, lets set Brown Bear off to the side.
Ava: I want to keep Polar Bear, Polar Bear.
Me: Ok, we’ll put that book to the side too.
Nakiah: I want to take the bones book home again….I love bones!
Me: I know you love bones. I’ll put it with the stack we’re taking home.
Ava: We need to take Dora’s Superbabies book home too!
Me: Ok….the rest of the books are going back. Lets pick out some new books.

After returning the rest of the books we make our way to the bathroom. Ava wanted me to line the toilet with toilet paper. She looked up at me and said “do I sit on it plain or with paper? I want paper!”
I line the seat with paper for her. I had to wait to flush the toilet until the girls had exited the stall.
They don’t like how loud it sounds in public restrooms.
Wash our hands and head upstairs to the kids section of the library.

Samuel is starting to fuss now, and I’m scrambling to find a spot to sit and nurse him.
You know the library is usually practically empty, but not today. Today it was full, people all over the place!
I get situated, the girls are playing with the toys, and Samuel starts getting louder. I love the newborn stage, but I also love when they can latch on themselves without much direction from me.
With Nakiah when I nursed in public, I was little miss discreet. Always used a blanket that I struggled with while trying to get her latched on. A total sideshow. With Ava I tried to use the blanket once, got fed up and tossed it. I don’t wear nursing clothes. I wear a tank top under my shirt, so when I lift one shirt I still have the other one to cover my belly, and the one on top is to cover my boob.
With Samuel I just don’t really care anymore. I still wear the tank top under my shirt, but I’m not really worried about others when my baby needs to eat. I just don’t care anymore at this point. My baby is hungry, and I’m going to make sure he’s fed anywhere, anytime. If you don’t like it, feel free to look in a different direction. 

I still haven’t mastered nursing in the wrap. I can do it, but it takes time and Samuel doesn’t give me time to maneuver him into position. When he’s hungry, he wants to eat right then and there.
At home it’s much easier to do because I’m at home and will flop my boob right on out and nurse him.
I try not to flash everyone when I’m out in public. Notice I said try.
He was rooting downstairs, but I was able to calm him a little by bouncing, and patting his bottom. By the time we got upstairs he was done, he was tired of waiting on me.
So I finally get situated, get him latched onto my right side. He has trouble with that side, but I do not want to become engorged so I figure we’ll get the troubled side done with first. Of course he keeps coming off and getting upset. Did I mention that I nursed him about 20 mins before we left. So it had not even been an hour before the current nursing session took place.

I heard one little boy ask his mom what I was doing to the baby, and she told him the baby was sleeping. Maybe that’s what it looked like, or maybe she just didn’t want to explain. Samuel is not a quiet nurser though, he’s rather loud most of the time. We love the sounds he makes while nursing. I think they are so cute!
He finishes on the right side, I burp him and then he poops. This is where things are getting really crazy for me.
In my head I’m thinking “I’ve got this” Poop is up his back, and I forgot to bring another onsie. Now I’m thinking “maybe I don’t have this as much as I thought I did”
I change him right there on the floor. I wasn’t about to leave the girls unattended, and the kids bathroom smells horrible in that library.
Samuel doesn’t like having his diaper changed. Especially when he poops. I’m so glad breastfed babies poop doesn’t smell.
While I’m changing him, the girls are calling me “mommy look at me!” “mommy I want you to read this book to me” ” mommy can we bring this book home” At this point I don’t care what books or how many end up in the back. I feel myself losing it inside. I’m not about to have a mommy meltdown in front of strangers, so I pretend that I’m calm. All the while Samuel has started again, and he’s getting louder.
I get him latched on the left side.I’m starting to relax, and then he pops off and starts the scream. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m trying to figure it out super fast. I tried to burp him, that wasn’t it. I tried to latch him back on, that wasn’t it. Nakiah came up to me with a book, and I put him against my chest, started reading to her, and he calmed down. Thank you for coming over with that book when you did Nakiah,.

Ava was at one of the tables doing a puzzle with a little boy. I finished reading to Nakiah, and Samuel started fussing again. I told the girls we would be leaving soon. I could feel myself starting to sweat, and the library had awesome A/C.
He’s getting ready to start the scream and I get him back into the wrap, start bouncing, grab my purse and our bag of books, tell the girls we need to go and we head for the steps.
Of course someone wants to stop me and ask about the baby. She was a sweet older lady.

Lady: How old is your baby?
Me: He’s three weeks.
Lady: Is it a boy or a girl?
Me: A boy
Lady: What’s his name?
Me: Samuel (I’m still bouncing to keep him quiet because he’s getting ready to start again)
Lady: We’ll he’s adorable, your girls are so well behaved, and you look great!
Me: Thank you!
Lady: You have a nice day now.
Me: Thank you, you too.

We get the books checked out. I realize that Samuel is quiet, I look down…he’s sleeping. Yes! Hopefully I can get him into the car and he won’t wake up until we get home. He did it the other day, so I was hopeful.
I always strap the girls into their seats first. Those extra minutes with him in the wrap are precious, and he likes the movement.
I get Samuel in his seat, I run around and get myself in, put my seatbelt on, ready to back out and cue child.

Nakiah: Mommy I’m thirsty and I want a graham cracker.
Ava: Me too
Me: Ok, here are your graham crackers, and here’s some water.

I’m rushing to get out of the parking lot because Samuel has been known to break out into the scream if we sit too long, or if we stop at a traffic light.
He was still asleep, so I was praying that we would be alright.
We’re almost home, and Nakiah tells me that Samuel is awake. Within seconds of her telling me here comes the screaming.

Ava: Mommy, The Samuel is crying really loud ( She calls him The Samuel, and I don’t know why)
Me: Ok, lets try singing to him

I didn’t specify a song, so we have Ava singing Rock A Bye Baby, Nakiah singing Twinkle Twinkle, and me singing Hush Little Baby.
I’m also catching every. single. light. on the way home. Why me and why right now!
I’m pretty sure that God was hysterically laughing at me at this point.
I’m impressed with myself because I didn’t have a meltdown through our entire crazy adventure.

I was so happy to get home, and back into the air conditioning. Samuel was sweating, I was sweating, and the girls were jumping around, chasing each other, and laughing.
I held Samuel against my chest in front of the fan for a few minutes, and then he latched on to nurse and went to sleep. Finally, my baby is happy, content, and sleeping peacefully.
I put him in the wrap and fixed some lunch for all of us.

It took me over an hour to get this post done. As you read, we’re adjusting just fine to having three children.
The girls are always loving on him, singing to him, and wanting to hold him.
I’m trying to remain calm, cool, and collected for the most part, and Charles is being a huge help. He’s even cooked a few times. I keep telling myself that I’m only three weeks postpartum. I need to take it easy. I just can’t stand being in the house all of the time. Today wasn’t really that bad though. I was able to laugh at the situation and myself. It was either laugh or cry. I’m glad I went with laughing.

Stay tuned for more crazy and wild adventures from my family.


23 thoughts on “>What was I thinking?

  1. Pingback: The Little Things | The Mahogany Way

  2. >I remember those challenging library visits well from when my girls were young. I can't even imagine what it would have been like with a little screamer in tow! The dialogue at the book drop gave me a chuckle — memories! I remember thinking, "it would have been easier just to renew the whole lot of books online!". Now that the girls are older though, I do look back on those harrowing library visits a bit more fondly.

  3. >Wow Darcel, I am impressed. I can't imagine what it must be like to go anywhere with three children!!! You are definitely a BRAVE woman! It will get better. At least you kept your sense of humor throughout the adventure. Besides think about all the stories you'll be able to tell them when they get older. I often drag stories about my daughter out and tell her. She loves it and she'll be 30 this year!!!

  4. >LOL! Darcel you are my HERO! I remember days like that taking the twins out when they were newborns. I love your "With Samuel I just don't really care anymore." That sounds like a mom who is on child number 3 or 4. I'm glad you made it through laughing instead of crying. Keep it up Mama your are an inspiration!

  5. >lol a real adventure, can only imagine.My sis had her baby girl on 6th June, she was born on her grandmas bday. She is very pretty, you can check her here with a blanket I crocheted her http://natty-crafts.blogspot.com/2010/06/manta-mia-ii.htmlDon't care about the nursuring either, I think it is lovely to see a mom taking care of her baby. I've seen a show of Tyra once and the preagnent girl was trying to decide if she was going to breath feed… I was like? IS THERE AN OPTION? lol I don't know what goes on with people, that's part of beeing a mom..Oh well, have a blessed week, I am getting ready to go on a voyage by car to marrocos.Bless,Natty

  6. >Thanks for sharing! I can totally relate and had a similar story at a library too! But I cried in the bathroom, got myself together and went back out for some more. It was snowing when we went though…

  7. >You are one brave mama! I'm trying to remember if I left the house with 3 or 4 kids at 3 weeks post partum?! I'm also kinda LOL b/c *of course* the baby poops and everyone needs your attention all at once. Right? The minute you think, hey, I can do this, kids sure put you in your place, don't they? Hehe. Was the event this morning better?

  8. >you did great, my Sis! a brave soul you are for sure. You'll be clicking like a well-oiled machine in no time. ;)sending lots of positive vibes and strength your way. you are an amazing warrior!

  9. >We all have to start somewhere! I'm glad so many of you can relate. Not glad that you had wild, crazy make you want to cry adventures, but you know what I mean.I didn't expect the outing to be this perfect trip, and that's why I was able to laugh at everything that went on.Now if only I could laugh about the state my house is in…

  10. >Wow! You put me to shame! I was afraid to leave the house three weeks postpartum and I only have one baby! -Jessica a.k.a Nya's momhttp://mommyhoodnextright.blogspot.om

  11. >awww, i feel you, and i only have 1 – lol. it's good to know that even veteran supermommas have their moments. i thought it was only the newbs like me – lol. i love that ava calls him "the samuel" that is adorable!

  12. >Thank you for making me laugh 🙂 and no Darcel I was not laughing at you but you wrote it so well 🙂 I think you are managing it greatly!! Have a lovely day 🙂

  13. >I remember being terrified of leaving the house with the first when she was that age and then even more terrified with only two! It sounds like you did pretty great actually! But I empathize. I never remembered to bring extra clothes when I went out, but on the off chance I did then I would forget snacks or diapers!! I could never get it right. But tomorrow maybe stay home and recuperate. 😉

  14. >Bravo Darcel!!!!! It will get SOOOO much easier each time you go out. ;0) Trust me on that one. I went from having two kids to four and afte rthe twins I was certain that I would NEVER see the light of day OUTSIDE our house w/o my hubs. But, we survived!!!! And you guys will too. You are doing an AWESOME job raising your family and nursing your sweet baby.Keep it up!!

  15. >oh love you did GREAT!!! three kids…bless you, i'm still looking for the off button on my 1 year old (its not mythical right?)the craziest thing i did was go to a wedding with my 16 day old daughter…

  16. >Yep,that was quite the little adventure you had there. I bet you'll sit down somewhere for a minute now. LOL! I remember how it was being anxious to get out of the house. I can't imagine with three, though, and one a newborn. Keep having fun!

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