>I’m starting a new series called Thursday Talk. Each week I’ll talk about something specific like one of the eight principles of Attachment Parenting, or Birth Matters, or how and why we unschool, why we don’t vaccinate. Maybe I’ll do all of those topics in a series.
So for the first post I am going to talk about my life. Exciting, I know.
I have been feeling more stressed than usual lately. Samuel is teething again. You know, it seems he’s been teething since December of last year when he sprouted his first tooth. Then I feel bad for getting frustrated that he’s not sleeping as much during the day. He can’t help it. So I do my best to remain calm so he doesn’t feel my tension on top of what he may already feel.
This winter has been rough. Ava and Samuel have caught every cold out there. As soon as they are getting over a cold(that seems to last for at least a week)they are hit with a new one, or maybe it’s the same virus. I wonder if it has to do with dairy. Samuel’s eczema has flared up again. I think it’s a combination of something I unknowingly ate that had dairy in it and his teething.
I am feeling so touched out lately. There is always someone who needs something. I know this
is a part of mothering, but I’m feeling like I could use some mothering too.
I feel like I’m constantly on the move. Just thinking of all that needs done makes me feel anxious.
One thing that could help ease my tension, warmer weather. I cannot deal with all this rain, snow flurries and all around doom that seems to be lingering in the air. What it’s not been that way for you? Well then you should consider yourself lucky, and me jealous of you.
I’m starting to have trouble with the amount of people in the house(there are eight of us)
I love my family but sometimes I just want to be alone! I’m very glad that my mom and brother
are here now. The kids are adoring them and vice versa. My mom and I get to rebuild our relationship. You know how you make plans and they don’t workout the way you planned? Yea that’s what happened here. I am sick and tired of looking at all of the boxes stacked all over my house. This doesn’t even feel like my house anymore! I wake up and go to bed with clutter.
I go back and forth between not wanting to leave the house because I don’t want to be around a lot of people, but I don’t need to isolate myself right now either.
Then there are days where I don’t want to come home because I know I won’t be alone with my kids.
I really shouldn’t complain. As I sit here pecking this out. Charles is upstairs with both of the girls getting them to bed, and Samuel is on my lap asleep. Instead I feel anxious and crowded. Not a good combination. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I love being a mom and wife. I suppose that I sometimes feel like I’m not built for all that life is throwing at me.
It seems every few weeks I’m here venting. I guess I want people to know that I’m real. Sometimes I feel like I’m blogging a lie because I don’t share every juicy detail of my life. I love sharing the joyous moments and talking about them with you, and it’s also nice to look back on my bad days and remember those moments. But I am human. Not a super human. Although sometimes being a super wouldn’t be so bad.
I am usually a organized person, but lately I have felt like there is no need. Everything will be a mess within minutes anyway.
Maybe I need to work on being more flexible instead of balanced?
I want to know that in the greater scheme of things having boxes all over the place doesn’t matter.
I want to know that I can get through this spell in my life…even if it goes on a few more months. I know it will get warmer eventually. I also know I’m growing impatient of waiting for warm sunny days. I’ve been spoiled by the ones we’ve had so far this year.
Maybe I have a (bad) case of the winter blues combined with everything else we have going on? Whatever it is I will be so glad when it passes. Feeling like this several times a week is mentally and physically exhausting.