Seems lately that I don’t know what to do with myself. Or what it is I’m supposed to be doing with my life.
I have this strong pull towards mama’s and babies, breastfeeding, and birth.
Somtimes most of the time I feel I should or could be doing more.
I have friends who appear to be doing it all. Am I wrong for wanting it all? There are times when I think “I’ve got it – this is what I’m supposed to be doing” Yet when I start taking the steps to get there I’m met with one obstacle after another. Just when I think I’ve made my way past that one, there’s another, and another.
Some would say I should keep going….tackling those obstacles and I’ll reach my goal. I get that, I really do. I don’t think it should be this hard. Not that I think what I want is going to be dropped into my lap, but if this is the path that I’m supposed to take I think it should feel right deep down.
I realized something the past few days….if it’s meant to be doors will open. If that door closes, another will open, and possibly some windows. It will feel right for not just me, but my family. It may be hard work, but it won’t feel like the worst fight of my life. maybe that’s why it feels so wrong….I’ve been trying to force what I want to happen to happen right now.
I believe that I can have it all – just not at the exact same time. I’m at this season in my life where being a wife, mother, and a facilitator comes first. Nothing wrong with that. It’s the life we chose.
I prayed this morning that what is supposed to be will be – and that I’ll know it. There won’t be any doubts.
There have been plenty of things that have fallen into my lap. I’m so thankful for those people thinking of me and bringing me these opportunities. Preparing for them feels right…. I can keep my family first and work everything else around us.
I’m also thankful for you, my readers. I love this online community. It includes people from all walks of life – from all over the world. I love your emails, comments, blogs, and tweets. I honestly feel and believe this world wide online community is where my main focus is supposed to be. I can also focus on two things locally. I really wish I could say what the local things are…. I promise you’ll know in time. Sitting here thinking about it – what I do locally and online actually blend together. I bring my own personal experiences to the table. Don’t we all?
What about you? How do you determine what path is best for the different seasons in your life?
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