Thursday Talk: Growing Pains

I have not been the most gentle mother lately. While I would like to put all the blame on the kids, that wouldn’t be fair or correct.

I’ve realized I’m having some growing pains right along with my kids.
Maybe we’re all still getting settled into our new place, maybe it’s all the driving I’ve been doing lately, or it could be that the two youngest have birthdays this month, and the oldest is feeling left out….she’s also approaching her half birthday.

I’m annoyed that we’re still unpacking, still no pictures on the walls(hard to hammer and nail with a toddler hanging on you)laundry literally piled up the walls, and I’m the only one doing the work of keeping house.

Kiah has been showing unusually aggressive behavior towards her younger siblings (kicking, biting, pushing, etc) and that makes me feel more aggressive towards her.
I’ve talked with her and asked her if she needs help finding out what to do when she feels angry, she said yes. This part is hard for me, because no one talked to me about my feelings or how to handle them as a child. It was get spanked and punished. Now I’m sitting here with my kids trying to navigate these intense emotions with them….learning right alongside them. It’s tiring, and some days I don’t feel cut out for the job.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m one moment away from losing it.
I’m feeling resentful, under appreciated, and overwhelmed. All the horn tooting in the world isn’t helping much these days.

A few weeks ago I set a daily alarm on my phone that says “did you pray today?” It goes off right before it’s time to get the day started.
One of the things I pray for every day is more patience…
I see I’m being tested on that one left and right.

After talking with friends and deep soul searching, I really think a huge part of the problem with the kids is that I’ve been running from them. I’m tired of the mommy I need and mommy I want…24/7.

How do those Super Moms do it? How do they find time to fill their cups, and still have the energy and patience to fill their kids up?
I feel like I’ve been running from my kids emotionally, and it’s really not fair to or good for us as a family.

I always thought that kids need you less as they get older, but that’s not always true. The girls have more what, when, where, why, and how questions. Samuel is becoming more independent, but still a baby. Some days I feel ready to wean him….lately it seems like all he wants to do is nurse.

So I’m still very much needed, but  left screaming what about me!?

I feel pulled in so many directions, and I think the kids are picking up, and feeding off that. I received some really good suggestions for how to help Kiah and her siblings with their disputes, but I also need help in finding my happy place. I don’t really like my first reaction being anger and frustration.
I think they key for me is learning how to feel those emotions, breathe, but not react with those emotions. Easier said than done!

Sitting here realizing I don’t really have a clear thought or close to this post….I’m at that mind all over the place stage again.

Hopefully by being home a couple days, I can clear my head a bit.

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8 thoughts on “Thursday Talk: Growing Pains

  1. Followed a link and ended up here – just wanted to say that there are no Supermoms, just some moms who are with their children a lot and find themselves sometimes stretched beyond their best (like you) or those who are with their children much less/have a *lot* of support and/or lie/omit the whole truth about their level of parenting accomplishment. Give yourself a break and for goodness sake stop reading the blogs of women who present themselves as Supermom! 🙂

    • I often wonder why we feel guilty for feeling bad about feeling stretched. I don’t know about other moms, but I feel that way a lot. Not reading blogs like that as much, but I can’t help but see some of my friends as Supermoms, ya know?

      This is me cutting myself a break. I’m a mom, not a robot.

  2. I am right there with you. I have been doing way to much yelling at Marlie and it’s not fair to her because she is adjusting to a new sibling. But for goodness sakes, so am I. and I am tired. tired of talking and not being heard, tired of being taken for granted, tired, tired, tired. I pray for patience and understanding and the wisdom to react better to the situation. I’ll be thinking of you in my next talk with the Lord. My mom likes to say that this too shall pass. I hope so.

  3. I’m very familiar with the feeling you described. It helps that right now I have some extra help at home but that will end in a few weeks. I plan to restart a regular yoga practice (need to make time for that) because that’s one thing that has helped me when life starts to feel unbalanced.

    • I’m glad you have help right now. It helps to feel like you aren’t completely losing control.

      I also need to start a regular exercise routine. That always gives me more energy, and I feel better all around.

  4. Oh how I feel for you, I’ve been there and sometimes even as they grow and grow you end up there again ..lol but your strong and you’ll get through it 🙂 sometimes just being able to talk to someone and air your thoughts helps you untangle all the muddle in your head and get you through the next day 🙂

    • Yes! That’s another reason I enjoy blogging. It’s another circle of family and friends to say “Yup I’ve been there” or “Have you tried this.” I’m feeling much better now. The past few days have been so great.

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