I’ve been thinking and not writing about what I’m thinking. I like talking. If I could get paid to talk, I would. I also like to write and when I can’t talk to someone, I write. Actually, I do both. The order in which that happens can vary.
I miss telling stories about all the craziness and sometimes boring moments of our daily life. I miss writing….about a bunch of nothing, but that’s me….
unpredictable, happy and a complete mess at times. The truth is that sometimes I have a lot to say! I just don’t think anyone else will care….so I play it safe.
I miss blogging for the original reason I started….for fun! And to keep a journal of my families life, then later for connecting with the community. Sometimes I just don’t know where I fit in. Maybe that’s my problem….trying to make myself fit in where I don’t. Every few months I think I’ve found myself…its so funny because now I realize that I’m always evolving – always adding to who I am, who I’m becoming, and at the same time taking away some things about myself that don’t belong. I get myself on track and then somehow end up off course, only to find my path again.
You know what? Being insecure is mentally and emotionally draining! Always wondering and worrying about what someone else would say or think. Wish I knew where it comes from. Why sometimes I feel ridiculously confident – other times I’m feeling completely out of control and unworthy of motherhood. Human nature maybe?
This is why I need to write more – it helps me sort everything out.
I’ve wanted this blog to be for my kids to look back on, a fun hobby, about the joys and challenges of motherhood. It can be for all of those reasons….and I’m sure in ten years I’m going to look back and laugh at myself for worrying over such nonsense.
So I’m going to write my little heart out. Sometimes it will be random and others with more intent. I can’t promise you a schedule of posts, or that they will be any good! I just want to write.
It’s after 3am and I should probably get some sleep so I can function with my children tomorrow.