It was easy to loose track of time or what day it was this past week. All of us are sleeping on a wacky schedule….hoping to reset it that over the next couple of weeks.
There’s something very familiar about our daily life – I think that’s a good and bad thing. Good because there’s a rhythm that came without much thought and planning on my part. Bad because knowing what’s coming next can be boring after a while.
I’ve heard lots of Mom…Ava called me a hurt machine. Mom….Kiah called me a hurt machine 100 times and I only said it 10 times. Mama, mom, mommy, moooooooommmmmm!!!!
And then I want to hide for a few hours. I don’t always respond with gentleness…lately I’ve been extremely grumpy feeling and I have to daily pray for strength to make it through the day. I think more and better ways of self care would benefit me greatly. The kids don’t need a martyr for a mother. I’m always so worried that all the kids will remember is my yelling and being or seeming upset all the time. Choosing to have a positive outlook before my feet hit the floor in the morning goes extremely well until the first mishap of the day happens…and that mishap turns into a snowball. I’m trying to be more conscious of the tone in my voice, my body language, and my facial expressions. This mothering thing is hard!
Things I hope they’ll remember about our daily life: family, togetherness, cooking with me, playing on the computer, nature walks, watching their favorite shows over and over again. All the laughing and playing with each other, the favorite video games, books, coloring, blocks, puzzles, drawing. I could go on….and when I think of it like that, our daily life doesn’t seem so bad.
There are definitely things I want to improve on, but I’m doing pretty well working with what I’ve got.